He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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