By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
