You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
