I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
