I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
