yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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