Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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