oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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