can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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