I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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