So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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