loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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