i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
