I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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