She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
