Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
