A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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