Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
