i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
