Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
