i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she peed on how many people?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize