He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
