This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
