We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
