return my video game
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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