no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
