if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
