you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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