We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
