I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
