They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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