Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
