One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
