Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
And then he peed in my hair
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