Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
