Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize