She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
