so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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