Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
