im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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