i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize