You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The adults are the big ones right?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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