I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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