There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
