Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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