Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
