It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
