Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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