my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
