This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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