shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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