last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize