scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
