Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
420 ftw
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
im on a boat
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