I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I have fence marks all over my body
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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