Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
