Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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