I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
