no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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