Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
