well I can't set my house on fire every night
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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