I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
