WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
