She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
