end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
