We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
