Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
